|
SoftballWags
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Cara
State: Illinois
Gender: Female
Interests: I like sports -especially softball, movies, friends, and being at school with all my wonderful friends... but not going to class.
Expertise: Well... I guess you could say softball since I've been playing for so long, but I would say it's more a passion that an expertise...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
AIM:  SoftballWags4
MSN: SoftballWags4@hotmail.com
Member Since:
1/14/2005
|
|
| This jealousy is eating at me.
I hate it.
But how do I get rid of it?
Since the beginning I've been jealous of her.
She seems to be the perfect one for you-
Not me.
She is the "female version" of you,
How do I compete with that?
You listen to the same music,
And some of my favorite music "can die" or "sucks".
She's like you-
But I'm different.
I'm not into your "body modifications".
I'm just a regular, normal, boring girl.
She's exciting and unique and you can talk to her about anything.
I want you to be able to talk to me about anything and everything.
I want to know all the sides of you that she gets.
I don't want to be jealous of her anymore...
| | |
| Why is it that things go well for a while then go to crap? I don't even know if they're crap, they just feel like it. But I'm too chicken to see...
I feel like I don't belong, like I'm not wanted, like everything I do you hate.... Everything about me just seems to annoy you. I guess I'll just stay out of your hair for now and maybe things will go back to normal sometime. I hope that I haven't done something that's pissed you off, b/c I wouldn't have a clue about what I did. I'm clueless.
I want to go home...
| | |
| Man, I have been busy lately. But I've been pretty happy overall. I've been getting up at 6 am every morning to get to Hillsboro by 7:30. I've been in Mrs. Everett's 3rd grade class for a little over 2 weeks. I am really loving this experience. Last week I taught math for the week, and this week I've been teaching reading. I really feel like I've been making steps in growing to be a better teacher these past weeks. I really love all the kids in my class, even though sometimes I just want to yell at them, or give some of 'em a good swat in the back of the head. Today is my last day actually teaching, so I'm pretty excited. I have 2 smaller reports to do tonight, and then I'm completely done with Clinicals work and I just have to go back next week until Wednesday. My classmates and I are pretty ready for a little break, and we even have a nice night planned on Thursday. And we're going out on Friday. Now I just have to get through the rest of this week and half of next week!
Softball is almost over too. Tomorrow is our Orange and Black game and then there's no more softball till winter. Saturday I do have to do some football concessions, but you know- I'm the expert popcorn maker, so it shouldn't be too bad. Then it's the ITALIAN FEST back home, which I'll be busting my butt to get back for. I need to get myself one of the best breast at the Fest (Italian chicken breast sandwich from Good Shepherds booth for all you people with dirty minds!) But, it's about time for me to head on out to Hillsboro... so I'm out. See ya!
| | |
| Will someone please take my life and live it for me until I can get things together and figured out?
I can't hardly take it anymore...
| | |
| These past few weeks have really shown me that life is no fair... And I hate it. I try to do what's right and make people happy and I get screwed over and am always the bad guy.
I hate that I'm hurting myself so I can try to not hurt someone else- but yet I don't care about them according to some.
I hate that guys turn everything into a competition between me and those I care most about when it shouldn't be.
I hate that I'm torn between caring so much about someone and wishing that I could not care so I wouldn't feel so bad about feeling the way I do.
I hate that I can't help the way I feel and that makes me the bad guy who doesn't care.
I hate the fact that someone makes me happy, but complicates my relationship with someone else so much.
I hate the fact that no matter what I do, it's never going to be good enough.
I hate hate the fact that I'm different from my family and that's apparently a bad thing.
I just want the chance to be truly happy again, but I can't see that happening anytime soon considering the circumstances at hand. I can't be who everyone wants me to be and that kills me. I wish I could make myself happy and everyone else I care about happy too, but I'm learning that that's impossible.
If I could make everything good again I would... but that's another impossibility in my life.
| | |
|
